Star Wars Ranked AF
Happy May the 4th! Here's my personal ranking of all filmed Star Wars content.
Harrison Ford hammin’ it up like he don’t give a fuck in Return of the Jedi (1983)
Happy May the 4th!
What’s your favorite Star War? As a lifelong fan, I pretty much like ‘em all, with a few choice exceptions. But like every other Star Wars fan, I think there are some very specific things I love about Star Wars, which dictates the movies, TV shows, comics and books I enjoy most from the franchise. So, since it’s Star Wars day, and making lists is fun, I thought I’d rank all the major Star Wars movies and TV shows I’ve seen in one list (no, I haven’t seen either Ewok Adventure so they won’t be included). It’s been awhile since I’ve given a lot of thought to what it is about Star Wars that still clicks with me, so this is kind of an excavation of that, just as the cinematic Star Wars seems to be winding down for a while, perhaps indefinitely.
Anyway, here goes, let’s rank ‘em and see what we come up with.
Honorable Mention: The Holiday Special
It’s Lumpy!
The Star Wars Holiday Special is the stuff of legend. A goofy TV program that aired in 1978 as a promotional tie-in between A New Hope and The Empire Strikes Back, it’s something everyone involved — including participants Mark Hammill, Carrie Fisher, and Harrison Ford — would rather the world forget. Too late tho, it’s on the Internet.
Perverse entertainment value aside, the Holiday Special is a fascinating time capsule that reminds us what Star Wars looked like in its original pop-cultural “moment,” before the franchise evolved into something else entirely.
16. The Clone Wars (2008)
I just watched this for the first time yesterday, so it’s probably unfair to even include it in this list, let alone rank it dead last. It’s definitely not as terrible as I had been led to believe, with a fair share of inspired visuals and action scenes that make it plenty watchable. But ultimately, the animated Clone Wars movie is just an ok test-pilot for the TV series that followed. More on that later.
15. The Rise of Skywalker
New Stoner Icon Babu Frik in Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker
It gives me no pleasure to actively dislike what will probably be the last Star Wars movie for a while, but here we are. It’s a shame, because J.J. Abrams clearly has a lot of love for the characters he first brought to life in The Force Awakens, and he provides plenty of visually arresting set-pieces and enjoyable, even emotionally resonant moments in The Rise of Skywalker. But it all amounts to an immensely unsatisfying conclusion to the once-promising sequel trilogy. I’ve seen this movie twice now, and both times I could see it collapsing under it’s own weight in real time. And the more it seems to be trying to please its audience, the less satisfying it gets. Then again, it also gave us Babu Frick, or as I like to call him, my Baby Yoda — so that’s something.
14. The Clone Wars (Tartakovsky Series)
This non-canonical, dark-horse animated series by Dexter’s Laboratory and Samurai Jack creator Genndy Tartakovsky originally aired on Cartoon Network between 2003 and 2005. And it’s very much in sync with it’s time and target audience, characterized by frenetic 2D action that plays out like what you would imagine as a 13 year-old who had just seen all the sick Jedi fights in Attack of the Clones for the first time. It’s fun, gorgeously rendered stuff that’s definitely worth checking out if you can find it on DVD.
13. Revenge of the Sith
Don’t take my low-ranking of Revenge of the Sith, nor it’s predecessor, Attack of the Clones, as indications that I don’t like them. I very much appreciate the SW prequels as highly experimental blockbusters that were 10 years ahead of their time. They also just happen to be deeply flawed and full of painful swings and misses. Revenge of the Sith, in particular, is too clunky and riddled with issues to tie the prequels and the original trilogy together the way it’s clearly meant to. But again, I’m hesitant to even say that because George Lucas deserve all the cred for making these movies the way he wanted to make them with seemingly reckless abandon.
12. Attack of the Clones
Christopher Lee as Space Dracula in Attack of the Clones
Again, despite ranking it low on the list, I’m much more inclined to speak positively of Attack of the Clones. Most of the CGI has aged incredibly well, not because it looks “real,” but because it’s meticulous and beautiful in ways that have nothing to do with “realism.” Plus, it’s got Christopher Lee as Count Dooku, essentially a Sith-version of the sexy Dracula he played in the Hammer horror films. And it’s the first time we see Yoda fuckin’ slay with a lightsaber. Point is, there’s a lot to like, and even love about this movie — mind-numbing dialogue notwithstanding.
11. Rebels
Just when you thought Vader couldn’t get more metal
The second animated series from Clone Wars co-creator and Star Wars genius Dave Filoni, Star Wars: Rebels is well made and well executed, with a likable cast of new characters, and familiar faces from practically every corner of the franchise, from The Clone Wars to the novels of the old expanded universe. It’s an incredibly satisfying watch for die-hard fans, offering a winning mix of classic Star Wars heart with creative additions to the mythology that feel fresh and organic. I wouldn’t call it essential Star Wars viewing, but it’s certainly a worthwhile excursion for all who care to take it.
10. Rogue One
One of several awesome shots you can only find in the Rogue One teaser trailer
Like everyone else, I was more than impressed with Rogue One when it came out, but it didn’t stick with me in the intervening years like I thought it would. I know Star Wars is, like, all about emotional Dad stuff, but the emotional Dad stuff in Rogue One kind of gets in the way of its war-centric, Dirty Dozen setup, which was really what made it an interesting prospect in the first place. That being said, I still give the film mad props for creating some of most breathtaking visuals in the entire franchise. The Force Awakens successfully ushered in the Disney era of Star Wars, but Rogue One set the visual standard for everything that came after.
9. The Force Awakens
Kylo Ren Brings Emo Back in Star Wars: The Force Awakens
What can I say, J.J. Abrams stuck the landing with this one. Everything was riding on The Force Awakens. It had to get people to buy into the sequel trilogy and the entire Disney/Star Wars enterprise, which it did. Critiques of the film as a glorified remake of A New Hope aside, the worst you can say about The Force Awakens is that it’s sufficient. The best you can say about it is that it created new characters that now feel as integral to the series as the ones people had already known and loved for 40 years. And it’s really fucking fun.
8. The Clone Wars (Series)
Cad Bane, one of Star Wars’ sickest bounty hunters
If you haven’t watched an episode of The Clone Wars, bear in mind that it’s a children’s show, and sometimes painfully so (do yourself a favor and skip the Jar-Jar episodes). But it’s also chock full of A+ Star Wars stories and mythology. Most fans appreciate The Clone Wars for expanding the prequel universe in ways that felt right and necessary, filling in story gaps with inventive world-building and several new characters that are now fan favorites (i.e. Ahsoka Tano). And it does all of that to such and extent that there’s a whole generation of fans whose formative Star Wars experiences were shaped by this show. From episode to episode, it’s frustratingly hit-or-miss, but it’s best story arcs feel strangely essential.
7. Return of the Jedi
Sorry I’m just obsessed with the faces Harrison Ford makes in this scene lol
Return of the Jedi is truly one for the kids. In a recent piece for the A.V. Club, Tom Breihan wrote, “as one of the American children that Lucas was targeting with those toymaker calculations, I have to tell you, Return Of The Jedi fucking ruled. The moment where Luke Skywalker springs off the plank of Jabba The Hutt’s skiff, flips through the air, and light-sabers a bunch of grizzled-looking alien motherfuckers into the Sarlacc pit, was just about the coolest thing that my toddler eyes had ever beheld […] Jedi is full of moments like that—breathless, kinetic adventure set pieces that made kids feel like their blood was on fire.”
On top of all that, there’s the final confrontation between Luke, Vader, and the Emperor, which fucking slaps from start to finish. For me, Return of the Jedi doesn’t pack the punch of the first two Star Wars films, nor does it break new or exciting ground for the series as do other, newer movies that rank higher on my list. But in the end, you can hardly fault a children’s fantasy film for being a children’s fantasy film.
6. Solo
The world didn’t deserve Alden Ehrenreich’s Han Solo
Solo: A Star Wars Story was assassinated upon arrival, given an early summer release date that fell too close to the previous, highly divisive Star Wars film, after a much-publicized troubled production and director change-up. But Solo works as a lower-stakes retro space adventure that feels more like a spiritual sequel to the original Star Wars film than anything other entry in the franchise.
Mike Vanderbilt summed it up best in a great Medium piece: The movie’s “time crunch, along with a budget depleted by multiple shoots, lent a low-budget vibe to Solo that hadn’t been present in the franchise since the making of the original. The rough edges offer up a cobbled together look akin to the original film — which, don’t forget, featured a laser sword that was built out of old camera parts.”
That rough-and-tumble feel, combined with the dank low-light cinematography and criminally under appreciated brilliance of Alden Ehrenreich’s Han Solo (a dash of Harrison Ford’s undercut, eye-twinkling bravado infused with the attitude of other 70s stars like Jack Nicholson and Elliot Gould) makes Solo a painfully underrated, imminently rewatchable Star Wars joint.
5. The Phantom Menace
I know this one is the most universally disliked Star War, but I give it high, high marks being the ultimate outlier of the saga in every way possible. Nothing else looks or feels quite like The Phantom Menace. It’s a gorgeous experiment, and it’s right at the technical sweet spot where Hollywood was starting to fuck around with CGI in earnest but still shooting on film. It’s a weird, perplexing sci-fi fantasy which, though completely absent of the playful charm that makes the original trilogy so enjoyable, deserves a more love for its revolutionary visual achievements.
4. The Mandalorian
I’m very much an eclectic fan. I can appreciate different types of Star Wars content from very different angles. But the things I love about Star Wars are very specific, and those are the itches that The Mandalorian scratches for me. First and foremost, it’s Western as fuuuuuck. From it’s Morricone-esque score it’s desert outpost shootouts and revolving cast of colorful outlaws, everything about The Mandalorian says it’s a space-Western above all else, which is exactly how I like my Star Wars.
…oh, and there’s also Baby Yoda 😍
3. The Last Jedi
Kurosawa af and clearly not afraid to evoke the prequels
Here’s the thing: The Last Jedi is good. It’s really good. Why? Because it’s absolutely beautiful to look at, and it “subverts expectations” without really losing sight of what makes Star Wars unique. I know a lot of people feel the exact opposite about this movie, but I still can’t for the life of me figure out what they would have preferred. In many ways, The Last Jedi justifies the very existence of the sequel trilogy, crafting an epilogue to the Luke Skywalker story that feels weighty and very much born from the Eastern mythology that inspired the “Jedi legend” in the first place. The Star Wars formula — a post-modern collage of old Westerns, Flash Gordon, Kurosawa, Joseph Campbell, and much more — is well-covered ground at this point. Why not embrace a film that clearly understands it all enough to do something new with it?
2. The Empire Strikes Back
I think I subconsciously judge every piece of Star Wars content that comes after the original film with a very specific rubric: namely, how well does it combine all of the influences that made up Star Wars in the first place, and does it add new stakes and worthwhile dimensions to the formula? For these reasons, and because it’s a beautiful, epic, esoteric space opera in its own right, The Empire Strikes Back will likely always be the best Star Wars sequel. Star Wars 2 could have easily been a lower-stakes retread of the first film and still been successful enough to lead the franchise into bigger and braver territory down the road, but the sights were set higher from the onset, and thank god they were.
1. Star Wars: A New Hope
Ain’t no substitute for that Skywalker OG
The movie that started it all is still my fave, not by mere virtue of it being the OG, but because it’s a small miracle in its original context, before an entire multimedia juggernaut and worldwide cultural phenomenon was built around it. I’ve been having a great time exploring every facet of the Star Wars universe literally ever since I can remember, but A New Hope is still the only Star Wars adventure that really taps into the primordial depths of my movie-lizard brain. It’s pleasures are simple and its pop-cultural genius is immediate. There’s still nothing else like quite it, and there never will be.